Men Are Struggling: Let’s Look Beyond the Silence
In our Men’s Health Panel*, experts in mental health, fatherhood, education, social services, and trauma support shared what men are actually carrying, and how societal expectations make it harder for them to ask for help.
This article is for anyone who supports men, raises boys, employs men, co-parents with men… or cares about healthier families and communities.
Men Are Struggling.. Quietly
Panelists see a consistent pattern:
Men often reach out for help later than women
By the time they do, they’re often in crisis
Financial stress, housing insecurity, and job loss are common contributors
Many feel shame for struggling at all
Divorce can be destabilizing emotionally, financially, and socially at once
And most feel they’re not allowed to talk about it.
The pressure to “be strong,” “stay calm,” “fix it yourself,” and “not burden anyone” is still deeply wired into how boys and men are socialized.
It creates emotional isolation, even inside their own homes.
The System Isn’t Built With Men in Mind
One of the most important insights from the panel:
many support systems: health, education, social services, aren’t set up for the ways men typically seek help.
Men often won’t:
Sit in a waiting room to “talk about feelings”
Verbally process in the moment
Ask for support until they’re overwhelmed
Identify what they’re experiencing as trauma, depression, or anxiety
They feel, but they don’t always have the language for it. And shame shuts the rest down.
Several panelists also shared that men facing divorce or separation frequently experience:
Sudden loss of housing
Financial pressure and support payments that don’t reflect their real circumstances
Loss of access to their children
Identity collapse (“What is my role now?”)
Increased suicide risk within 90 days of a separation notice
These aren’t small issues, they’re life-altering.
Why This Matters for Families
When men aren’t supported, it doesn’t just affect them.
It affects:
Co-parenting relationships
Children’s emotional health
Extended family dynamics
Workplace performance and safety
Long-term financial stability
Community well-being
Children thrive with stable attachment figures, and that includes fathers.
Supporting men IS supporting families.
When Support Is Missing, Pain Can Turn Into Harm, for Themselves or Others
One of the most honest parts of the panel was the discussion around what happens when men don’t have emotional support, mental health tools, or safe places to express what they’re carrying. As one panelist put it, if we ignore what boys and men are facing, it becomes “a time bomb that will go off in our society in a detrimental way.”
This isn’t about blaming men, it’s about understanding the conditions that can lead to harm.
Men are often socialized to stay silent, stay steady, and avoid showing vulnerability. That silence can turn into:
emotional shutdown
explosive anger
controlling behaviours
depression or hopelessness
substance use
self-destructive patterns
disconnection from their children and support systems
During divorce or major life changes, when finances tighten, roles shift, identity cracks, and support drops off, these pressures intensify.
When stress builds with no outlet, no language, and no support, some men resort to unhealthy or abusive patterns because they don’t have the tools to cope or the safe places to decompress. This doesn’t excuse harm, it explains why prevention must include men too.
Supporting men’s mental health is not just about helping men, it’s about protecting families, reducing violence, improving co-parenting relationships, and strengthening community well-being.
When men have access to emotional support, role models, connection, and practical tools, they are far less likely to reach a breaking point. And everyone around them benefits.
Men Need Connection, Not Correction
A beautiful thread emerged from this panel:
men don’t need fixing, they need space to be human.
They need:
Connection without judgment
Curiosity instead of assumptions
Practical, step-based support
Tools for emotional regulation
Role models (especially in education and caregiving fields)
Environments where asking for help is strength, not failure
And they need conversations about mental health that don’t make them feel defective.
The Missing Conversation: Men + Meaning
Many men tie identity to:
Providing
Protecting
Performing
Being dependable
“Holding it together”
When a major life change disrupts that, job loss, divorce, health issues, it hits not only their logistics but their sense of worth.
One panelist described it this way:
“When a man feels like he can’t provide, he doesn’t just feel stressed, he feels like he’s failing at being himself.”
This is why approaches that address identity, purpose, and meaning are so essential.
Where We Go From Here
The panel emphasized that supporting men isn’t about diminishing women’s needs, it’s about expanding the conversation to include what’s happening silently on the other side.
If we want healthier families, workplaces, and communities, we need to:
Create culturally safe support for men
Reduce shame around emotional expression
Normalize asking for help
Talk openly about men’s mental health
Encourage male representation in caregiving and education fields
Foster environments where men can connect meaningfully
Because the truth is simple: when men are supported, everyone benefits.
If someone came to mind while reading this, please share the article or *full panel replay, it might reach them at exactly the right moment.
This article was written by Deena Kordt and featured in her ‘Human First’ LinkedIn Newsletter.
📖 You can subscribe here.
Meet the Author - Deena Kordt
Deena Kordt, publisher of Life Changes & Divorce Magazine Canada, host of the Life Changes Channel podcast, is also an author & speaker from Southern Saskatchewan with a passion for inspiring personal growth and community support. Growing up on a farm and ranch, she developed strong small-town values and a deep sense of community. Deena has had a diverse career, including roles as a nurse, librarian, and reiki master, but her most cherished role is as a mother.
Deena's books, podcast, magazines, blog and presentations aim to help individuals reconnect with their inner strength and joy, encouraging them to embrace life with courage and resilience. She has overcome significant personal challenges, including the loss of two brothers and living in an abusive situation, which has fueled her mission to support others on their healing journeys.
Known for her adventurous spirit and rock 'n roll heart, Deena believes in the power of a supportive community of women. She invites you to join her in exploring life with curiosity and courage.
Awards and Recognition:
2023 Womanition Trail Blazer Award Nominee
2024 Soroptimist International Ruby Award Winner
2025 IOFP Top Women’s Leadership Coach & Publisher of the Year
Deena has been featured on several podcasts and magazines, co-hosts the “Shift Happens Show” and is working on her memoir.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
