Navigating Separation While Living Together
By Michelle Garneau
Separation and divorce are challenging with many changes and decisions to be made. Often out of necessity or logistics, people need to remain living in the same home on a temporary basis. Whatever the reason, planning, communicating and negotiating will need to be done to keep a livable environment for both of you and your children as you mediate the terms of your separation.
Here are some ways you can make your experience more positive:
Set clear boundaries about your living arrangements. You can set up specific times when each person has access to certain parts of the house, such as the kitchen or living room. Perhaps you can live on separate levels of your home. Be respectful about not invading the other person’s personal space whether it is a bedroom or another area of the home.
Avoid making any big changes that are not mutually agreed upon. This can include finances, household duties and terms of parenting. If a change is necessary, you can have these conversations on your own or in mediation where you have assistance being heard and both of you make the decisions.
Keep communications respectful. This means avoid making critical comments about the other person or their family, bringing up the past or making threats about going to court. Stay away from the urge to interrogate the other person about their personal life or monitor their activities. Have boundaries about when you will communicate, the number of communications and what you will communicate about. Give one another space when needed or requested.
Don’t use your children as messengers or a sounding board for your problems. You want to protect their emotional well being and sense of security. Kids exposed to conflict between their parents or who are put in the middle are likely to have increased anxiety and a negative impact on their development.
Be good to yourself when negotiating your separation matters in mediation. These discussions can bring up strong emotions. Allow for a "cool off" period before and after the mediation where you don't ask one another probing questions or push to discuss sensitive matters.
Living under the same roof during a separation can be manageable and go more smoothly if you are cordial and have a mutual agreement about communication, house rules, finances and respecting one another’s privacy.
Michelle M. Garneau
B.Sc., Registered Family Mediator | Garneau Mediation Services
📍 Office: 780.417.3119
📱 Cell: 780.499.9815
✉️ Email: michelle@garneaumediation.ca
🔗 Website: www.garneaumediation.ca
🏢 Address: 15-2016 Sherwood Drive, Sherwood Park, AB T8A 3X3
Garneau Mediation Services
📌 This article was originally published in Life Changes & Divorce Magazine Canada – Fall Issue 2025
🔗 Read the full issue here
Meet the Author - Michelle M. Garneau
Michelle Garneau, a Psychology/Biology graduate from the University of Alberta, has 17 years of experience in the workforce. She has developed communication, negotiation, and training skills through her extensive sales experience. Michelle pursued mediation training through the Alberta Arbitration and Mediation Society and has worked as a family mediator with Family Justice Services in Edmonton. She is a Board member with the Alberta Family Mediation Society and a member of various dispute resolution organizations. Michelle continues to pursue education in mediation and dispute resolution.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
